im really tired. slept late each night. been out everyday. went shopping with peiwen on mon, watched vball guys on tues and today. watched netball girls ytd. im so tired.
really lazy to write down wad happened these few days. thats me. when things happen, i must say it right away. if not, i wont say it out anymore and just keep it inside me. my dear pals, i bet u guys din know that i had a great fight with my dad last sat right? and i really mean GREAT FIGHT. my mum even came down ard 1am to bring me hm cos she knows how my dad treats us. my sis was ard. she tld my mum abt how unreasonable he was and how fierce the fight was. he was just trying to pick a fight on me. i din wanna argue with him. din shout much. just talked back. with reason. cos he was unreasonable, he din have much to say. i was so fluent lah. and full of reasons and logic. he couldnt say anything much. heh heh. i knew that i've won. but that night, i was so hurt by him. when mummy came over to bring us back, she packed my stuffs for me. she wanted to take us back. mu sis went with her. but i refused. i think i've disappointed her and made her sad. she was worried abt me. honestly, i wanted to leave with her so much. since young, i just like it when she protects me. when im sad or feel like i've been wronged, i always want to run to her and hope that i would find some comfort thr. i was so glad that she came. and so sad that i din leave. luckily andrew was awake. i called him to tell him wad happened. was crying real badly then and i think i scared him. sorry ar! but luckily i did. or else i'll just hide it again. felt so much better after that. haix. i guess u guys will not be awake so late just to listen to me complain lah. shengyu and andrew were the only ones who knew abt the whole thing. i told peiwen part of it cos i din wanna repeat alr. but u guys dunno anything. its always like that i guess. u all are busy with your stuffs to pay any attention to me.
sometimes i wish that u guys would be like my class clique. forever that steady. like when i was so upset that day when i was told that miko couldnt make it for long, they tried to cheer me up. though it wasnt early and everything was so last min, we all went over to his place to chill. i guess they were tired that day too. but they still tried to make me happy by coming out. i really felt noticed at times when with them, which i seldom feel with u guys. really disappointed that zoe's blog is filled with shigs but not me. disappointed that u guys even asked shumei and jeline out to study but not me. disappointed that u guys made cake for zhiwei and melson but i've nv got it before. mm.i've known u guys longer lah. haix. disappointed that i know sth happened btw zoe and zhiwei but only shigs and perhaps minmin also knows, but u just refused to tell me. sad that im always taken for granted. sad that shigs changed partner for warm up. sad that u guys really dun uds me much. perhaps u know what kind person im, but u guys dunno what i need. aiyah. wad alse can i do?
guys team lost to NY today. i know that they're sad. shengyu, alvin and him were pissed abt the match. cos the team nv thot of winning NY when they played. mm. this was wad happened during my match with JJ. my greatest regret is that i couldnt change my team's mindset. they din see that we shud have won. but its over for me. really hurts when ppl who dunno abt our efforts criticise us. or when they talk abt THEIR TEAM. reminds me that i no longer have my team. anw, abt the NY match, i wanted to eat with them after the match cos i think they wld have lots to say. but pw had trng and was cabbing back. since the guys wanted to cab back too, they left with her. for a while, i din know whr to go after that. but decided to watch the match there and meet zoe after that. luckily sweeliang was there. so i sat with him. msged the both of them cos i think they were really low abt their match. hopefully i managed to encourage them a bit. mm. i have faith in them. they will do well!
he din msg me tonight but i wanted him to do so cos he used to complain abt things that he doesnt like abt vball trngs or matches. i mean im fine if he's telling her how depressed he is now lah. but it'll be easier to tell me cos i know vball but she doesnt. after discussing with andrew, cos i dun dare to msg him, i sent him an encouraging good night msg. hoping that he'll say whats on his mind. luckily he did say a bit. though not for long. but im relieved that he's better. but i think he got rather annoyed that i din get his pt lah. so we din say much. im not sure abt this, but the feeling is less strong now.
hey! i told shengyu abt this blog too! so he's gonna see what i've wrote!
this is specially for him! ( no mass send)
hey! i know how it feels when ur team mates think of losing even before they play. and maybe u've not played very well today. dun be demoralised by this game. instead, be strong! forget abt it! cos u need to be strong in order to change their mindsets ya? dun be pissed anymore! rmb that u're fighting for us! and we'll always support u to the end! u go dude!
when you look me in the eyes
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
If the heart is always searching
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone
I cant make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you
There's gotta be a million reasons
Why it's true
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
How long will I be waiting
To be with you again?
I'm gonna tell you that I love you
In the best way that I can
I can't take a day without you here
You're the light that make my darkness disappear
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
Everyday, I start to realize
I can reach my tomorrow
I can hold my head up high
And it's all because you're by my side
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side
When I hold you in my arms
I know that it's forever
I just got to let you know
I never wanna let you go
'Cause when you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
Oh, I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes, oh, yeah, ah
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