23 april- the official end?

i told myself on 23 march that im giving myself a mth to let go of him, let go of everything. i cried that day. it was then that i realised i like him quite alot and it was not gonna be easy for me. he din talk to me for a couple of days then, before i decided that i shud do so. however, on the day itself, he msged me. he sounded kinda happy and excited. told me that we could get adidas jerseys. i cried again. why did he msg me that day? when i've made up my mind finally? i still replied. but i guess in a rather cold manner, unlike the usual me. i think he felt it. cos his msgs were unusually long, unlike his usual short ones. seemed like he was trying to carry on the conv. but aft a while, i din reply. somehow, i wanted him to know that im not one who he can talk to and neglect whenever he likes. i kept wondering if i shud reply. i wanted to be firm in my decision. i was afraid that the longer i talk to him, the sadder i'll get and the more i dun wanna let go. but in the end, i couldnt take it. i replied like 3omins ltr. this time, i was the normal me. sounded pretty normal. once, he din reply for quite a long time. i thot he din wanna talk to me. then he asked if he had replied me. i guess he was wondering why i took such a long time to reply again. i said no and we continued talking again. i guess that night, he wanted to tell me that we could still be friends by msging me as normal. i felt glad. yet, sad abt my decision too.

honestly, i thot that i would not be able to do so within a mth. but maybe i can now. the last time he msged me was a wk ago. im tired of getting disappointed each day. i dun wanna talk to him alr. dun wanna talk to him when other girls are busy and he has no one else to talk to. im no longer the girl who waits by her phone for his msgs the whole day. i dun always look out for him in school or in class too. it doesnt really matter to me anymore if he sits beside or behind me in class. (anw, he hasnt sat beside me ever since he found out.) sometimes, i dun even want him to sit behind me. today i talked quite alot to shengyu, abt vball stuffs. but i din talk or even look at him though he's beside shengyu. i guess im quite certain with my decision this time. thr was nv an option for me. i din choose to like him, this much. it just happened that way. but he chose to face it this way. a very hurtful way. but time will heal all wounds right? it wont hurt so much aft a while i guess. mm. 15 more days to the end of one mth. will it end everything officially?

competition season's starting real soon! next wk! i made these cards for the whole of the vball family. both guys and girls team and mr fung. but i haven write on the back of the cards yet. cute right? haha. i hope that they'll appreciate it. and we'll play well!

the front of the cards.

the back of the card

林俊杰-让我心动的人

己好久没有你的消息

好久都没有和你谈心

好想念你总爱对我说

你近来痘痘怎么那么多

如今你是否还留长发

你是否仍每夜迟回家

你是不是还爱咬指甲

oh girl 我今夜好想你呀

梦若和你的一切都是梦

那为何我会心动

谁为了谁

为了谁心动在分分钟

风它不肯说

云悄悄飘过

黑夜它依旧沉默

只有天上一颗星星说她睡了

你是否也该休息了

风它不肯说

云悄悄飘过

心跳却说服我没有错

让我心动的人是谁呀

愿那在梦中的你会懂

hey pals. if only u guys are here to comfort me. cos i think my heart's aching quite alot.