aiyo. i screwed my chem test again. i wanted to study and pass it this time. but i was tired and busy. cant seem to find enough time to study and rest. i tried to answer the qns lah. hopefully i can pass it. even a just pass is fine.

lol. mrs chua sent me for some time management session ytd. with 4 other classmates. super waste of time. i dun like her to think that i suck at my studies. she's always so sarcastic and annoying lah. but nvm lah. hopefully it does hlp me to organise my time well and im gonna do well for JCT. kinda motivated to study hard now. but im physically and mentally exhausted to do so. ah! hang on thr! competition season will be even tiring but i must work hard!

mm. i have been quieter than usual these few days. was pretty annoyed at peiwen. din talk to her much lately. i dun like her to frequently get pissed with audrey and me especially over minor stuffs. im actually quite fine with it. but because im really tired these few days, thats why i cant be bothered to give in. yupp. feel kinda bad abt it. but i just dun feel like talking.

finally. ever since he found out, ytd was the first time he sat beside me. we were attending the time management session. he came in later than me. my class ppl occupied a table. he took a chair and sat beside me. but this time, my heart din beat faster or wad. actually i've been avoiding him for these few days. like when we had lunch aft school on tues, we occupied 2 round tables. i was sitting in a place whr i could see him. then i changed seats so that i wld be back-facing him. usually i wld sit in front of him in class. but now, when i enter the class and see that he was sitting on the left side, i wld move to the right so that i wont sit in front of him. i hate myself for being like this. but i really dun wanna get hurt anymore. he msged me last night. to ask me to ask the girls if anyone was interested in joining triple jump. he said his friend asked me to do so. mm. though he din say who this friend was, but i know that its her. he nv mention her name to me before. he always referred her as his friend. because i dun want him to think that i wld try to strike a conv, my replies were rather short and closed ended. but though the conv was short, it did hlp to improve our situation today a bit. cos these few days felt a bit weird.

today was better. a few of us skipped econ lect and went to the library. i wanted to give the vball team the cards this sat so i started writing in the library. couldnt sit with him or else he'll know abt the cards. so edmund sat with me in another table. he came over twice to ask edmund qns. i quickly covered the cards. mm.i think it was pretty obvious. haha. so mayb he alr found out. he was quite active today. edmund made fun of me and he wld join in. mm. he hasnt really done so for a while alr. feels a bit normal now. during lunch, my whole class went opp to eat cos we wanted to celebrate yining's bday. peiwen, edmund and i sat alternately ard a round table. he was initially sitting at the table beside ours. then he came over. i think its because he din know the ppl thr very well and came to join edmund. he sat btw edmund and me. the seat beside me. for the second time aft so long.

sometimes, just looking at him is enough. wad do i really want? i dunno too.

mm. im tired.